"Her Brutal Marriage Dilemma"
This article, written by Arthur Jeffrey, appeared in the April
1965 issue of Screen Stars Magazine.
Sandy and Bobby didn't really want to go to the party. They much preferred to stay home, sit by the fireside, exchange loving confidences, prepare a late snack, enjoy the trusting quiet of their togetherness.
But both, being well-known entertainers, to whom
a certain amount of social activity is the breath of professional life, knew that this affair was one of Hollywood's yearly Big Events, and that they would have to make it.
It was a lively party. In one room, the more sophisticated guests were spouting 1965-vintage epigrams. In another, the band was playing waltzes and starry-eyed couples were swaying schmaltzily to it. In a third, a rock and roll band was belting out a frug. Everyone seemed to be having a good time and the champagne flowed freely. The rooms were framed by lavender and white flowers, and crystal chandeliers gleamed softly.
At parties like these, Sandy and Bobby knew, as they sat silently in their limousine en route, Hollywood's "political deals" were hatched, "trade" gossip flourished, and under the deceptively casual surface of the good fellowship, sly, sharp eyes roved and searched for the latest scandal-signs; ears were perpetually cocked for the latest dirt ....
The limousine pulled up to the entrance, and Sandy and Bobby emerged. She was tired tonight, but she mustered, somehow, the energy to smile. In a minute, the butler took their coats and handed them glasses of champagne. The rat-race-for-tonight was on!
Smiling stiffly, they strolled into the study. After a while, Sandy said she wanted to dance, so they went into the room where the waltzing was going on. "No frug?" Bobby asked. "No, darling, I feel schmaltzy tonight," she replied, and they drifted dreamily off to the strains of the waltz.
Bobby held her tenderly close to him. The music stopped, and they went into a drawing room, hoping no one would talk to them. Smiling into each other's eyes, they were just about to settle on an inviting-looking divan when a director they both knew approached.
Without preliminaries, he ploughed right into them.
"What's this I hear about you two having marital problems?" he barked.
Bobby gritted his teeth, as Sandy
turned away, tears in her eyes.
"Get lost!" he hissed.
"Okay, okay, just being a worried and concerned friend," the man muttered, "but if you don't want my advice or help .... "
"We need advice or help like we need a hole in the head," Bobby shouted after the man's retreating figure.
Their would-be tormentor suddenly looked back. "I'll remember your attitude when I'm casting my next picture," he said. Then he disappeared.
Sandy's weeping was audible now, and several other guests, friends of theirs, came in to ask what was wrong. But Bobby had lost patience by now. "If you would all just go away, we'd be fine," he said shortly.
And that was--and is--precisely the point.
If people would only leave them alone the Darins would get along fine. It's impossible for them to go anywhere without being stared at and whispered about. It's as if people know things about them which they don't even know themselves.
"Why do they look at us that way?" asks Sandra again and again. "There's nothing wrong with our marriage. The only thing that keeps me from being sublimely happy is the vulgar interest everyone seems to take in our private affairs." Things have come to the point where even the Hollywood vultures are following Sandy. These are the men who keep their noses in the air hoping for a whiff of a rotting marriage so they can swoop down and make new conquests.
The female vultures are moving towards Bobby too. Once something like this gets started it's almost impossible to stop. The Darins can't very well publish a pamphlet declaring their marital stability. It's even been suggested to them to skywrite the information! But, of course, all this is ridiculous.
Sandy's easygoing and docile appearance belies her truly sensitive nature. Experiences like those she has been having don't easily fade out of memory. They are truly very, very upsetting as well as disillusioning. Sandy is shocked to see the brutality in people she once regarded as her friends. Bobby is not so naive as his wife so he is more angered than shocked or hurt. But no reactions on the part of the Darins do much good. They are simply victims of a typical Hollywood situation, and their popularity only seems to make it worse for them. It's a rare and treasured occasion when they can stay home at night and not be bothered by "friends" dropping in to see how they are getting along. Sandy and Bobby don't want to descend to the level of these other people, so they try not to be rude to intruders -- but sometimes it's hard.
One comfort to Sandy and Bobby is the fact that they are not the only couple in Hollywood who are being persecuted this way. They have become very good friends with the Stacys, who also have a problem with the public treatment of their marriage. Of course they have never been separated as have the Darins, so in their case there is even less cause for gossip.
The four of them are often seen having quiet dinners together, but this too is distorted, for rumors have started about "Sandy and Jim having a secret affair." It is true that they are very fond of each other, but their relationship has never been anything more than that.
To this the gossip-mongers answer that "secret lovers always deny stories by saying that they are just good friends." So it seems as if Sandy simply cannot win! But actually, rumors of this sort are the least of her problems and she'd never dream of taking them seriously. In fact, they provide one of the few remaining sources of amusement for her and Bobby--and the Stacys.
Something that isn't so funny is the fact that when Sandy and Bobby do have a little argument or when Sandy is annoyed at him for one thing or another there's not one person she can complain to, for she no longer knows who are her true friends. Every girl needs a crony or two to confide in. It's part of being a girl. Sandy has never said she was a loner and now that she finds that she has to be one she doesn't like it very much.
However, there's reason to believe that all this will simmer down. As Sandy herself puts it, "There's only so much misery can possibly come to a human being."
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